When the Flames Go Up
When the Flames Go Up
Are you happy now?
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Are you happy now?

Episode 57 consults a dating coach, His Holiness, and MAD Magazine to discover how midlife recalibrates our idea of happiness. In the end, we're all just trying to knit gold out of sherbert ombré.

What is happiness to a middle-aged person? Does it still feel like a realistic goal? Or have we lived through too much to aspire to anything more than contentment? Or satisfaction?

In midlife, the pursuit of happiness can feel a bit like rubbing two sticks together to start a fire in the snow. The process can feel urgent and/or futile, but when you do manage to find that spark, your first thought is to remember how you got it and do whatever you can to keep it going.

Among our consultations, the central ingredient of feeling happy is empathy for and connection with our fellow people. Magda basked in nostalgia in Stockbridge, Mass. Doug found cordial political debates in Livingston County, Michigan. We both consulted Logan Ury’s strategies in How Not to Die Alone. And we debated the merits of Facebook’s artificial interaction.

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We’ve all heard that happiness is a choice that requires effort sometimes. At least we’ve been around long enough to know ourselves pretty well, so we can decide what makes us happy and feel reasonably certain we can do what’s necessary to find it.

The baby sweater

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When the Flames Go Up
When the Flames Go Up
After we divorced, we started a blog about co-parenting to learn how to work together until our kids were grown. And now that they are, and the world is so busy disrupting and disavowing what we thought we were working for, we're looking to our community to help us all keep up.