[Black] Friday Flames: "This will never be heaven."

And other revelations about adultery, estate law, red tape, revenge, and hope in the dark.

We know a lot of people whose Thanksgivings were pretty turbulent, especially along political lines. We’re thankful to have sidestepped that problem for the most part, but frankly it still felt a little disorienting to observe a sacrosanct American tradition when the prevailing spirit of the time is to question everything we thought was established.

Do vaccines still save lives? Is our planet still round(ish)? Isn’t it a good thing to feel empathy? And if we’re committed to “disrupting” everything, why force 80 million Americans to sit in horrendous car traffic? Why slaughter 46 million turkeys? Why are we still pardoning them, fer Chrissakes?

While Doug celebrated having his parents and siblings all under one roof for just the second time in a decade, Magda has been thrust into the bowels of navigating the (non)system of paying for long-term eldercare. It has suddenly become clear that her dad’s health means he can’t be at home with just her mother, so that means in-home care or a facility. But which one, and how to pay for it? The whole disjointed, Machiavellian mess must be impossible for older people to navigate by themselves. What do they do without adult children or other relatives to help them through it?

And closer to home, Mike’s new dishwasher is entering its fourth week as a colossal doorstop in the dining room, because the first five appointments to install it have been canceled. The stalemate continues with a "hard hold" on the account, so they can't make a new appointment or seek a refund for the installation fee. A lot of you must have similar stories—what's the longest you've been given the runaround by an appliance company?

This probably isn’t the nadir of fiftyhood, but sometimes it sure feels like it.

Embers in the News

Here are some of the links that peeked through the noisy news cycle last month:

• High (and low) tea To celebrate Guinness World Record Day 2024, the world’s tallest (7ft) and shortest (2ft) women met for tea in London.

• Keep the kids in the loop No matter your wealth, Warren Buffett urges all parents to “let your kids read your will before you sign it.”

• Cheating is officially legal New York repealed a 117-year-old state law that deemed adultery as a class B misdemeanor punishable by up to 90 days in jail.

• Life with the Pevensies A Narnia-themed treehouse near C.S. Lewis’s home, which was created to entertain children with anemia, is now available to rent.

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Recently on the podcast

Is it worth trying to bring that middle sliver back over to the side that didn't elect this guy? Or is it better to just cut them off and watch them Find Out with the rest of us?

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Currently reading

Magda loved All the Lovers In the Night by Mieko Kamakawi, the author of Breasts and Eggs (which she also loved). She's just starting Slow Noodles: A Cambodian Memoir of Love, Loss, and Family Recipes by Chantha Nguon.

Now seems as apt a time as any for Doug to pick up Rebecca Solnit’s Hope in the Dark, which was a big hit 20 years ago during those quaint years when Bush 43 was our biggest problem. There’s plenty of “progress is not linear” rhetoric, but with a more pragmatic, encouraging reminder that “This is earth. It will never be heaven.”

Currently watching

If you’re looking for a movie that multiple generations of your family can enjoy in a post-prandial stupor, Doug suggests Thelma, the story of a 94-year-old woman who decides to recover the $10,000 she lost in a scam. It has jokes for everyone to appreciate and will inspire you to stay as active as possible while you still can.

Magda and Mike are satisfied with the result of the Season 15 GBBO finale, even though their favorite didn't win. They've also started A Man on the Inside, the latest series from showrunner (and Ann Arbor native) Michael Schur. Magda finds it funnier and more charming than Mike does.

Currently cooking

The biggest hits among the new Thanksgiving recipes were this Thanksgiving Slaw, which everyone loved, and this simple but very fresh-tasting stuffing that seemed to hit right for everyone. The people who liked this Southern-style cornbread dressing loved it, but not everyone loved it.

Doug reached a particularly momentous milestone by making two pecan pies using the recipe his mother had kept to herself for decades. It has no corn syrup, it’s a family favorite, and if he posted the recipe here, he’d probably get disowned.

Thanks for reading, and we wish you all a large turkey sandwich.

Magda and Doug