Friday Flames | 3.8.24

A weekly synopsis of what we figured out about the bardo, the beans, the creeps, the kitties, and the Menopause Miracle.

It’s a big weekend: International Women’s Day, Daylight Saving Time, and the Oscars, each of which inspires its own torrent of hot takes. For the record, we’re fine with springing forward and are indifferent to award shows (except: GO DA’VINE!)

But one of the phenomena about International Women’s Day, in America at least, is the unfortunate cohort of dummies that complains “why isn’t there an International Men’s Day, too?” Which, of course, there is. And too many associate it with the severely troubled MRA creeps.

The key to recognizing the importance of both is to appreciate the very different ways they go about striving for gender parity. IWD celebrates women's accomplishments and calls out gender discrimination and abuse, while IMD is about helping men process their emotions better and stop killing themselves and going to prison, so they’ll quit abusing women and resist becoming MRA creeps.

Whether either of these days is accomplishing anything is up for debate—especially amid the perpetual logjam of national politics. But they both belong on the calendar, because in our communities both days are working together, on both sides of the river, to bend it in the right direction.

Embers in the News

Here are some of the links that peeked through the noisy news cycle this week:

• Chemo brain, go away MIT researchers say stimulating gamma brain waves may protect cancer patients from the cognitive impairment of “chemo brain.”

• “We bitch about the same things now” Monica Corcoran Harel writes how her mother taught her that “women in midlife are at their most powerful.”

• “How long is too long for a nap?” A candid assessment of middle age from Gen X humorist Sherri Dindal went viral.

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This week on the podcast

Laurie Smithwick talks about caring for local parents and far-flung in-laws, and how her addiction to newness helped prepare for when her twins left for college and abruptly emptied her nest.

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Currently reading

Magda finished Drew Gilpin Faust's very dense memoir Necessary Trouble and then read Less Is More: How Degrowth Will Save The World by Jason Hickel, which is important and thrilling. Now she's finishing up Purrder She Wrote, a cat-themed cozy mystery that Mike picked up for her at the library.

Coming off Siddhartha, Doug thought Lincoln in the Bardo (a state of consciousness that Tibetan Buddhists believe is wedged between death and rebirth) would make for an interesting transition. George Saunders creates a menagerie of spirits observing Abraham Lincoln mourning his 11yo son, and the result is original, dense, and riveting.

Currently watching

Doug is really enjoying Sort Of, the small, character-driven comedy that deserves a larger audience. Canadian playwright Bilal Baig has built an engaging world around Sabi, the gender-fluid child of Pakistani immigrants in Toronto, and touches on issues of race, gender, class, and inclusion with a deft balance of edge and tenderness.

Magda spent her one husband-free night watching Bring It On for the 500th time. This was the first movie Peyton Reed directed, and it should be no surprise that every film he’s directed since has made money.

Currently cooking

In the last throes of a sodden Massachusetts winter, Magda and Mike are all about homemade soup. Tonight that soup will be Lemony White Bean Soup With Turkey and Greens.

Doug found that the key to this jerk chicken (served with coconut rice, to help calm down all them Scotch bonnets) is to marinate for as long as possible. Set a timer for around three days, then get ready for a rave in your mouth.

Next on the podcast

We’re off for the week, for secret reasons. We’ll be back with Episode 38 on March 20.

Thanks for reading, and Greta should be there.

Magda and Doug