Friday Flames | 8.18.23
A weekly synopsis of what we figured out about sex in cars, the productivity of procrastination, and whatever the opposite of larceny is.
Lahaina’s stalled recovery
We’re still watching the aftermath of Maui’s wildfires, but now through the lens of our son's friend, whose entire everything is now ashes. She’s currently doing relief work on the ground, and she reports that the situation is bleak and the need is enormous. The death count is now over 100, but over 1,300 are still missing. Maui’s Director of Emergency Management has resigned for failing to sound the warning sirens (he explains why here), and tourists are still showing up for their dream vacations.
As veterans of several recent power outages stemming from janky equipment, we wish we were less surprised to learn that 1) the Maui fires likely resulted from a faulty utility grid, and 2) Hawai’i Electric is in deep, deep shit.
Many thanks to Jeff Bezos, who has committed $100 million (over 0.06% of his net worth!) to the relief effort.
This week on the podcast
On the Monday Check-In: Magda is moving next weekend, and as she confronts the stuff in her house, she admits where some of that stuff is ending up.
Monday Check-In: "I have a confession ..."
Listen now (16 mins) | These are heady times for the two households, as Magda readies for her big move by attempting to order the drifts of her personal debris, and Doug is effecting his own personal reset by staging a Sympathy Move. So, naturally, we talk about our stuff—how much we’ve amassed, how little we need, and how things go missing, either when they’re lost in transi…
There are more than 11 million unpaid caregivers for loved ones with dementia, and many are frustrated by the lack of information and support. For Episode 13, occupational therapist Emily Gavin offered up some strategies and a ton of resources to help ease the heartbreak.
Episode 13: “It's hard to lie to the person who taught you not to lie.”
Listen now (59 mins) | “If you’ve seen one person with dementia, you’ve seen one person with dementia.” Emily Gavin is an occupational therapist who has counseled caregivers of people living with dementia since 2012. There are over 100 different diagnoses of dementia, which affects
If this taxi’s rockin’ …
During a recent chat with his parents, Doug mentioned that driverless taxis have been cleared to work 24/7 in San Francisco. And without prompting, his mom very uncharacteristically responded, “I think I know where this is going.”
And it’s true: robot taxis are the new big thing, and people old enough to be our children (and old enough to be us, frankly) are fogging up their windows. This may be related to a study that says one of the best ways to keep sexual desire alive is to “maintain self-expansion” (i.e., try new stuff—maybe with pineapples).
So, kudos to all those thrill seekers who have renewed that spark and/or been introduced to a whole new level of revenge p0rn!
Currently watching
Did you know that Doug’s dad and Mary Tyler Moore were born on the same day? Probably not. Being Mary Tyler Moore doesn’t tell fans of Laura Petrie and Mary Richards and Beth Jarrett and Pearl Coplin much more about her, either. Her interviews are frank but guarded, telling us as much about teen motherhood, divorce, alcoholism, grief, and diabetes as she’d like us to know. And so-frigging-what? She was an amazing performer and second-wave feminist icon, and she deserves as much goddam privacy as she wants.
Tonight, we’re all going to see Pee-wee's Big Adventure at the old-timey movie theater with the pipe organ. The last movie the three of us saw there was Road House with Patrick Swayze, so we may have started a tradition of honoring late, beloved actors by re-watching their iconic performances. (There might even be tequila.)
Currently reading
Magda is supposed to be packing up to move to Massachusetts, so instead she read Our Souls At Night by Kent Haruf (bittersweet and crushing), Everything's Fine by Cecilia Rabess (a modern horror tale), and Before The Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi (which she would have liked better if she hadn't read the other two first).
Magda is very productive when she procrastinates. (Please meditate on this.)
After a spate of fiction, Doug is reading the fictiony non-fiction of A Libertarian Walks Into a Bear by Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling. A bunch of overweening Free Staters invaded Grafton, NH, and cut government services to the bone—and then the hungry bears arrived. It’s got enough dark comedy and unearned hubris for a dozen Coen Brothers movies, and it really happened.
Next on the podcast
Stewart “Brittlestar” Reynolds (follow him here at
)is living proof that you’re never too old to be successful and culturally relevant online. At 53, he’s built a global brand and entertained hundreds of millions by working hard and committing to his sense of humour.Thanks for reading, and we meant to do that.
Magda and Doug