Friday Flames: A stronger self in the second half
And other news about weighing trees, falling upward, dying to serve, tattling tales, and rebooting the Seasons.
Congratulations! By reading this, you’re witnessing a very unlikely confluence in our nation’s history: Both of us are engaged in religious study AT THE SAME TIME.
As you’ll see below, Doug is about to lead a book club discussion about “Falling Upward” by Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest who writes about a specific demarcation that separates each life into two halves. And Magda is teaching a class about interpreting the gospel, which Rohr believes has been misread enough to lead us away from its central message: you cannot rise without falling.
In the “first half” of our lives, we’re told there are specific beliefs we need to embrace about the systems around us. Choosing whether to accept these beliefs can be a high-stakes decision, because stepping out of them can be construed as counterculture. And most young people don't have the courage (or even the inciting incident) to become counterculture, even if they feel a strong misalignment between what they're expected to accept and what they know to be true of their own experience and observations.
But then comes a “falling”—a big, humbling life event like a death or divorce—that forces us to consider that misalignment with greater priority. We start considering these systems with enough depth and context to let ourselves defend the truths we know and let them supersede the stories we've been told. The “second half” of life, then, includes a new courage to claim your views, even when they contrast with the predominant narrative.
(Incidentally, one of the best ways to figure out what we actually believe about our place in the world is to figure out what to teach our own kids. If our primary motive is to help our kids find their way through a hostile world, one of the best ways to achieve that is to teach them to know and accept themselves, lead with open-minded empathy, and think critically rather than memorize.)
The problem, of course, is that too many people need to feel resolute and safe, rather than acknowledge that the longer we live, the less we know. The nonstop stress of our lives makes rigidity feel necessary and doubt seem like a luxury. The best way to avoid pain is to make enough money and do all the things we’re supposed to. Which is crazy.
More to come as these studies progress.
Embers in the News
Here are some of the links that peeked through the noisy news cycle:
The Lorax would love this A new satellite will help scientists “weigh” the planet’s 1.5 trillion trees to determine how much carbon they store.
“Dying to serve” A 55yo man with terminal cancer launched his “dying to serve tour,” during which he wants to perform community service in all 50 states.
Stand and sit and stand again The 30-second “sit-to-stand test” can assess your risk of falls, cardiovascular issues, or even a higher risk of dying.
Next up: electric trees Scientists have developed an “artificial leaf” that uses sunlight to convert carbon dioxide into photovoltaic cells and liquid fuel.
Currently reading
Magda just finished listening to Accidentally on Purpose, the charming memoir from Kristen Kish (who is probably the most beautiful woman in the world—or at least on American television). Kish reads her own story, both of becoming a chef and coming into her own truth and life, and you root for her the whole way through. Magda has now started Connie Chung's memoir and Enemy Feminisms by Sophie Lewis.
Doug never saw himself leading the discussion in a church book club. Yet here he is, reading Richard Rohr’s Falling Upward, which says that early teachings are fine, but your true spirituality emerges later in life, after those teachings have been challenged. He writes well about turning pain into progress without falling into cloying positivity.
Currently watching
Doug watched The Four Seasons reboot, which hews pretty closely to the original plot until Winter, when it becomes its own thing in search of a second season. Most updates are welcome, especially the added time with Jack’s ex-wife, Anne. But the many collaborators made the overall tone feel inconsistent and too sitcommy for the gravitas it wants to command.
Magda has been watching classic episodes of Tattletales and Supermarket Sweep on whatever free game show channel she gets on her antenna. Elle ne regrette rien.
Currently cooking
Magda made Faygo Redpop sherbet, which is delicious (and plentiful, because she’s the only one at Mike's house willing to eat it). The generic recipe is 3-4 cups of [insert pop flavor here], a 14-oz can of sweetened, condensed milk, and one cup of whole milk. Mix and chill, then turn it in the ice cream machine. Up next: Dr. Pepper!
Doug’s first thought when he encountered this raspberry-spinach salad with avocado and walnuts was: “There’s no way this works.” But he’s happy with the Mediteranean direction that his diet has taken, and that salad is a banger. It’s even better on Day 2!
Thanks for reading, and Colman Domingo’s charisma cannot be understated.
Magda and Doug