Friday Flames: That nagging feeling of breeder's remorse

And other thoughts about pinball, peacocks, Super Whoopi, bone density, and flying drug hippos.

Remember that guy who planned to sue his parents for conceiving him without his consent and wanted payment for pain and suffering? That was five years ago, but after all that has happened since, the idea seems just a little less preposterous.

Doug loves fatherhood. Loves it. When he and Magda met, she sized him up as “a family man without the family.” But after the debate and the presidential immunity ruling, he thought about his kids’ future and genuinely thought for the first time, “What have I done?”

Then Magda told him she’d been fighting off the same feelings for years.

This seemed like a perfect topic for a podcast about feeling blindsided by middle age. So we posted Episode 51 (see below), because it’s disorienting as hell to feel this demoralized about what our voting-age kids have left to vote for.

A few years ago, we might have gotten some pushback that things aren't that bad, but by now there's no denying that most people under 30 have never known a minimum wage that's even adequate, or a path to home ownership, or any idea that it’s possible just to earn some money, live a stable, fulfilling life, and then retire to enjoy an inhabitable planet without microplastics in their blood.

Could we have seen this crap coming when we started our families? Hardly. But now that these misgivings are here, we think the only way to fight them off is to share them, so we can build and organize and fight Project 2025 with a resistance bigger than its parts.

Embers in the News

Here are some of the links that peeked through the noisy news cycle this week:

• The power of The Change Whoopi Goldberg has released a comic book she co-wrote about a superhero who derives her powers from menopause.

• Bones and breastfeeding A hormone that keeps the bones of breastfeeding women strong could be used to heal bone fractures and treat osteoporosis.

• LEGO limbs David Aguilar, who was born without a lower right arm, has been making prosthetic arms out of LEGOs since he was nine.

• Flying drug hippos! Pablo Escobar’s pet hippos that he abandoned are wreaking havoc in the Colombian jungle—and when they trot at full speed, they catch air.

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This week on the podcast

Anxiety is running higher in America as the election gets closer and we wonder more about the chaos that will surely follow. What did our kids do to deserve this?

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Currently reading

Magda is reading Haruki Murakami's second novel, Pinball, 1973, and she recommends his first novella, Hear The Wind Sing, only to big Murakami fans. Also, after reading

lyz

Lenz's This American Ex-Wife, she is livid on Lenz's behalf at her ex-husband and frustrated at the state of a country where women still feel like they need to marry the “ain't-shit men” who thrive in our culture. WTF.

After two months, Doug’s library branch finally came through with the spy thriller The Peacock and the Sparrow by former CIA operative I.S. Berry. It’s a hot property and as compelling as advertised, once you settle into the rhythms of the Bahrain backdrop.

Currently watching

Doug really enjoyed Palm Springs, in part because word of mouth persuaded him to dial it up with no idea what the premise is. The trailer gives away way too much about the plot and spills the funniest lines, so avoid it and take a leap.

Magda and Mike think Project Runway All-Stars is just not as satisfying as Project Runway is. This is probably because Georgina Chapman and Izaac Mizrahi have loopier taste than Nina Garcia, Michael Kors, and Zac Posen do, so the judging feels unaligned and inaccurate. Magda is looking forward to when the Olympics start next week and force a Project Runway break.

Currently cooking

Magda doesn’t do well in the heat, so she and Mike are relying on old favorites like palak paneer, halal cart chicken and rice, and pizza on the grill (with the $40 pizza oven grill insert) to keep their moods afloat.

Doug has decided this Vietnamese salad will be the mother salad of the summer. Super easy to make, versatile, you can add whatever protein you want, and it’ll help you use up that big bottle of fish sauce in your pantry.

Next on the podcast

When she couldn’t find a book that helped parents talk to young children about mastectomies, Carolyn Sklar wrote one herself.

Thanks for reading, and we’d totally watch a Hot Flash movie.

Magda and Doug