When the Flames Go Up
When the Flames Go Up
Episode 34: "How not to die alone."

Episode 34: "How not to die alone."

Don't believe the pessimists! Finding friends after 50 might require a little more effort, but it's definitely possible. We've got several case studies of people whose strategies worked wonderfully.

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Magda and Doug are each at a point where it’s time to make some new real-life, face-to-face friends: Magda because she has moved across the country to live with her husband, and Doug because he is a man.

And really, how hard could it be? All you have to do is live in a place where at least a few like-minded people are, find the places where those like-minded people hang out, be at least a little bit extroverted (or convince yourself you can be, in short bursts), be forthright but not thirsty, have a plan but be flexible, be innovative but follow a lot of well-traveled advice—and set aside the unnerving thought that a lot of people are just straight-up weird.

Don’t believe the pessimists! Friendship after fifty is definitely possible. On top of all the options you can find anywhere online—volunteering, continuing ed, friendship apps, etc.—we talk about some specific, slightly eccentric examples that worked wonderfully. And with less effort than you might think.

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We also answer several burning questions: Is being friends after you get divorced always a good thing? Is there such a thing as hopeful cynicism? And do you really have to kiss a lot of people dressed as frogs?

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Edited Transcript

When the Flames Go Up
When the Flames Go Up
After we divorced, we started a blog about co-parenting to learn how to work together until our kids were grown. And now that they are, and the world is so busy disrupting and disavowing what we thought we were working for, we're looking to our community to help us all keep up.