Friday Flames | 7.28.23

A weekly synopsis of what we figured out about Shuhada' Sadaqat, snail mucus, and listening to your mother.

We have to lead this week with the death of an icon: Shuhada’ Sadaqat, who still used the name Sinéad O'Connor professionally. She chose the name Shuhada’, which means “one who bears witness,” when she converted to Islam in 2018. And damn, the witness she bore.

A lot of Gen X women have been reeling since we learned of her death on Wednesday. Her mental health had been on the edge for decades, with the CPTSD from her mother's horrific physical and emotional abuse throughout her childhood. She was a fierce, plaintive advocate, as much for herself as for others, and she taught us how to use our voices to demand attention, even though that crushed her professionally.

As writer Andrea Plaid posted, "I'm sad that she never got an apology from the rest of us for shutting down her career because she spoke up clearly and fiercely about the Catholic Church's abuses, and that we disrespected her when she was going through her mental health crisis." Magda really hopes Shuhada’ found loyal female friends and felt safe enough to open up to them.

This week on the podcast

For Episode 10, we had a lovely conversation with

Christine Koh

, author of

There's Always A Story

, who upended her rigorous, patriarchal upbringing and career in cognitive science to pursue writing and digital creation. We talked about the complexities of caring for her widowed mom and the power of trusting yourself enough to change careers midstream.

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Guest Update of the Week (offspring edition)

Congratulations to Alexander Bello, son of Episode 4 guest Akil Bello, for his role in the well-received new movie, Theater Camp—a star-studded “love letter to theater nerds.”

Episode 4: "Investment banks with a small school attached"

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Beetlejuice too?

This week, we learned that 1) people keep stealing things off the set of a Beetlejuice sequel, and 2) they’re filming a Beetlejuice sequel. Michael Keaton, Catherine O’Hara, and Winona Ryder are all back (RIP Glenn Shadix, whose last years were rough), and it’s kind of surprising they didn’t create a Beetlejunior character for Pete Davidson.

This is an ex-Twitter

Twitter is X now! Meh. It’s maddening enough to see the new owner erase a robust, worldwide brand, but what he’s really erasing is the memory of how we once had a singular platform for speaking truth to power. None of the many fragmented replacements will come close to that again.

Currently watching

Doug saw The Skeleton Twins when it opened in 2014, but after nine years it feels like an entirely different movie. It shouldn’t surprise that Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig have acting range, given the spectrum of characters they inhabited on Saturday Night Live, but it’s always satisfying to see performers succeed in dramatic roles when given the chance to play against type.

Magda has seen Barbie once and will see it again tonight. The last time she saw the same movie in a theater twice in one week was the James Baldwin documentary I Am Not Your Negro back in 2017. She sobbed through Barbie the first time and is ready to notice more details this second time. A poll:

Currently reading

Magda just finished Being Mortal by Atul Gawande—which Doug has been urging her to read—and was bowled over by how fantastic it is. It's now on her short list of books everyone should read, which also includes Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer and Heavy by Kiese Laymon. If we started a Flames book club, would you read along and discuss with us?

Doug is happy to report that How To Stop Time is gaining momentum. Tom Hazard remains melancholic as he trudges through the centuries without the great love he lost in 1603, but the plot conceits are solid, and the suspense is mounting.

For the car trips, we’ve just finished Eye of the Needle and are about to start Red Sparrow, by former CIA snoop Jason Matthews.

Coming next week

Our next podcast episode is with Ann Imig, creator of the national storytelling show Listen to Your Mother series, who uses her organizing skills and MSW training to counsel many 50-somethings who feel stuck. We learned a lot about the science behind training your mind to abandon stubborn mental habits.

Thanks for reading, and stay clear and fierce.

Magda and Doug