Friday Flames | 9.8.23
A weekly synopsis of what we figured out about hospice care, rooting for murder, and the great feeling when your kid calls you out.
From Doug: When the kid knows best
Robert and I had great plans after he came home to buy The Truck With No Name last month. During his off-week, we were going to road-trip to Colorado so he could show me why he loves his new life so much. We even came up with a story idea to pitch around: “Where is it easier to sleep: A slab at Moab National Park, or a red-eye on Frontier Airlines?”
Unfortunately, thanks to a silly excuse for a bank that doesn’t trust its own records, he had to spend that week here, waiting to iron out a snag with the title transfer. We were feeling adventurous, but not enough to drive cross-country with no license plate.
Naturally, we decided to soothe the sting of our lost plans by making better ones. The only question was when I could make it happen. My lizard brain has been a single head of household for a long time, so my first thoughts were about the logistics, the cat, the out-of-office messages, etc. “We’ll do it, for sure,” I said.
Robert knows me well, and he recognized my penchant for kicking cans down the road. “I’m sick of watching you put stuff off,” he said. “I’m not leaving until you buy the plane tickets.” And that was saying a lot, because after a week back in the stifling suburbs he was ready to peel his skin off.
I can’t tell you how great it felt for my son to call me on my bullshit, and that’s one of the joys I’ve learned about having adult children. We all get used to when our kids start talking back, but it’s a real revelation when they start being right.
This week on the podcast
On the Monday Check-In: Magda is already fluent in the Metro West Boston real estate market, and Doug asserts that murder is wrong.
Monday Check-In: "OFIM"
Listen now (17 mins) | We were predictably discombobulated to have a Monday Check-In on a day that doesn’t feel like a Monday. Magda genuinely thought today was Sunday Again, which would be a watershed moment toward establishing a four-day work week and pumping the brakes on this country’s untenable workaholism. Labor Day is not for laboring, dammit!
For Episode 15: Former CNN producer Alex Walker talks about covering the 9/11 recovery effort, how to save journalism, and co-parenting over two time zones.
Episode 15: "I remember going to the newsroom, and it was complete chaos."
Listen now (65 mins) | There’s a whole cohort of full-fledged, 21-year-old adults—including many of our generation’s children—who were born after 9/11. And when you talk to them about that day, they can’t grasp how little we knew as it was happening, because somehow we existed at a time without a constant barrage of news alerts.
Mikasa, su casa
Here’s a quick shout-out to all the weird-ass stuff our aging parents get up to, inspired by the curious thing that writer/comedian Alex Borstein found in her parents’ dish drainer.
Currently watching
If you’re interested in other work by the co-creators of the brilliant Catastrophe, Doug’s selections this week are for you. Sharon Horgan’s winning streak continues with Bad Sisters, an addictive, Fargo-esque comedy/drama/mystery that will leave you pissed off about the patriarchy and/or actively rooting for murder.
Magda is watching admissions office presentations from the schools her son is thinking of applying to. Some are great, and some are embarrassing, and the quality of these efforts doesn't seem to have any correlation with the schools’ acceptance rates or endowment sizes. Yikes.
Currently reading
Magda just finished The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments by Hadley Vlahos, RN. If you liked Being Mortal by Atul Gawande MD, you'll probably like this memoir by a hospice nurse and the stories of the people she cared for at the ends of their lives.
Doug read A Heart That Works, a memoir by Rob Delaney (the other half of the Catastrophe team) about his two-year-old son’s death from a brain tumor. Delaney delivers details with a comedian’s characteristic bluntness, as catharsis for his bone-deep bereavement. But he also describes beautifully how processing a death makes you so grateful for the life and love you have left.
Birthday poll
Doug recently realized he knows nine people (like our friend
) who have a birthday on September 11. That seems like a lot. Is that a lot?Next on the podcast
She says
, but after you read ’s work in The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, or on a bookshelf near you, you’ll disagree.Thanks for reading, and just do it already.
Magda and Doug