When the Flames Go Up
When the Flames Go Up
Episode 43: "If you choose yourself, you have a future."
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Episode 43: "If you choose yourself, you have a future."

We said all the right things in front of our favorite people when we got married 25 years ago today. After all this time, we can finally admit what we were really thinking.
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As fate would have it, this publication day happens to coincide with the 25-year anniversary of the day we got married. So we decided to devote an episode to get a little real and remember what we were really feeling while it all went down dooby-doo down down.

The episode’s cover art is an image on the front of a wedding album that Doug’s sister made for us, and it’s kind of eerily prophetic that all the wedding finery is laid out without any people in it. We’ve had a lot of time to think about why we did what we did, and airing it like this feels like the last in a series of “closure moments.”

Did we get together for a lot of embarrassingly wrong reasons? You betcha. Do we get a little snippy with each other? A little. But we also know how much we’ve tried to figure out how to cooperate for our boys, and it all started by realizing you can’t have a great relationship with your ex until they’re your ex.

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We also talk about how it must feel to resurrect a romance several years after it ended, the macabre feeling of brewing stock with your old hip, and whether it’s ever a good idea to show your ex your avocados.

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When the Flames Go Up
When the Flames Go Up
After we divorced, we started a blog about co-parenting to learn how to work together until our kids were grown. And now that they are, and the world is so busy disrupting and disavowing what we thought we were working for, we're looking to our community to help us all keep up.