Friday Flames | 2.16.24
A weekly synopsis of what we figured out about midlife friendships, super-fast soupification, and the American dominance of enormous twine balls.
As we wind down a busy week of pączki, passion, and penitence, a few updates:
The ongoing FAFSAtastrophe: Everyone's FAFSA is still "in review," and colleges are starting to push back their Decision Days from May 1 to June 1. Some schools have created their own financial aid forms that mirror the FAFSA, so they can at least offer estimates before (if?) the DOE gets its shit together. (See poll below.)
A retraction: Mike wants our readers to know that he cares even less about college football than the NFL; he only bothered to watch the Super Bowl because it’s a cultural event. (Magda would like to note that, for a guy who's "not into it," Mike sure knows a lot about the rules and intricacies of the game.)
Westward, ho: Please offer our younger son good luck and godspeed as he embarks today on an epic journey to see all four of the world’s largest balls of twine. Adventures like this are clearly why gap years were invented.
Please help us settle a disagreement over whether “FAFSAtastrophe” works as a descriptor of how FAFSAsinine this financial aid debacle has been. We’ve offered some alternatives, or you can choose one of your own:
Embers in the News
Here are some of the links that peeked through the noisy news cycle this week:
58 and fabulous The 58th Super Bowl had its highest ratings ever. Who says you can’t peak in your 50s?
Good news for your joints New research indicates that abatacept, used to treat rheumatoid arthritis, can prevent the disease altogether.
Love thy (younger) neighbor A Finnish study says midlifers can improve their moods through “generativity,” or investing in the welfare of younger generations.
This week on the podcast
Don’t believe the pessimists! Friendship after fifty is definitely possible, and we talk about some specific, slightly eccentric strategies that worked wonderfully.
Episode 34: "How not to die alone."
Magda and Doug are each at a point where it’s time to make some new real-life, face-to-face friends: Magda because she has moved across the country to live with her husband, and Doug because he is a man. And really, how hard could it be? All you have to do is live in a place where at least a few like-minded people are, find the places where those like-mi…
Currently reading
Magda read the absolutely perfect She and Her Cat, by Makoto Shinkai and Naruki Nagakawa. Four sweet vignettes, each told from the perspectives of a cat and its female caregiver, offer an open-hearted look at the difficulty of modern life and how responsive and clever cats are. If you liked the movie Kedi, you'll love this book.
And last week’s book, Shannon Reed's funny and beautiful Why We Read, is a best-seller! Congratulations, Shannon!
Doug is over his head, bookwise. He’s immersed in Say Nothing, finishing Reading While Black for book club, and enthralled by how the Groundhog Day script evolved. This weekend will see a concerted attempt to reduce the tower on his bedside table.
Currently watching
Before William Wyler directed The Best Years of Our Lives, Ben-Hur, and Roman Holiday, he gave us Dodsworth, the first of Wyler’s 12 Best Director-nominated films. It has held up so well because it reminds us that, over the past 88 years, compelling stories about human problems haven’t changed all that much.
Mike is back home for Valentine's Week, so that means nonstop Project Runway Season 5. They also started and liked Lessons in Chemistry, but they haven't yet made it past the first episode. For secret reasons.
Currently cooking
Magda has been experimenting with her new soupmaker, a wedding gift that purées and cooks any ingredients you put into it in 30 minutes. She really enjoyed beet-chickpea-onion-carrot, and also loved carrot-red lentil-onion-garlic-ginger-turmeric. Even kale-chickpea-potato-garlic was better than she thought it would be.
This roasted tomato and white bean stew has earned a place in Doug’s winter rotation, because it’s easy and delicious on its own and can morph into so many other meals, depending on what you feel like adding to it.
Next on the podcast
Helen Jane Hearn talks about moving her family to her home town in order to care for her parents—and all the unpredictable insanity that decision has wrought.
Thanks for reading, and have a FAFSAtional weekend!
Magda and Doug